RIP United States, we hardly knew ya.
After the surprising election results from earlier this week, it’s become an excellent time to be in comedy. Case in point, this touching obituary of America from The Beaverton, Canada’s own version of a satirical news outlet in the same vein as The Daily Show or The Onion.
Beaverton anchor Miguel Rivas opened Wednesday’s premiere episode with the news that the United States had sadly committed suicide.
“Our top story, sad news as the United States was found dead last night in its North American home. Investigators have ruled the death a suicide, the result of 300 million gunshots to the foot. The nation was only 240.”
After the opening segment, The Beaverton went on to speculate on the new Trump Apocalypse.