When certain people offer life advice, you stop what you are doing and listen. One of these people is Homer Simpson, but not quite for the same reasons as the great philosophers. The lazy everyman, Homer’s advice should not be taken too seriously, but from time to time he will also come out with something truly profound. Whilst he may not be the greatest role model, there is no denying that Homer knows how to relax and enjoy himself, so if you ever find yourself stressed then it is perhaps best to take a page out of Homer J’s book.
10. “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”
Homer Simpson is a man of leisure and will not do anything that he does not feel like doing, which includes most things other than eating, drinking beer and watching television. In season three’s “The Otto Show,” Homer spouts his philosophy on life after Bart decides to quit playing guitar very shortly after Homer and Marge bought him one. However, it is also this approach to life that sees Otto living in the Simpson household, much to the annoyance of Homer. For full appreciation, the entire quote is needed:
Homer: “Of course I’m not mad. If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the garage next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we’ll go watch TV.”
Bart: “What’s on?”
Homer: “It doesn’t matter.”
9. “Don’t let Krusty’s death get you down, boy, people die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, goodnight.”
Homer does not have the best way with words, and often his words of advice can have the adverse effect. After Bart accidentally gets his hero Krusty the Clown arrested for tax fraud in season seven’s “Bart the Fink,” Krusty fakes his own death and assumes a new identity. Bart is wracked with guilt and is also mourning the death of his hero, and this sees Homer attempt to console his son. Unfortunately, his words cause Bart to consider his own mortality and everyone else’s. He leans right into Bart’s face to emphasize his point, before quickly departing and leaving Bart alone in his room in the dark to reflect on his father’s words. Although not worded terribly well, Homer’s statement holds some truth and he is an advocate for living in the now and making the most of life.
8. “The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see. Don’t tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you’re sure everyone else feels exactly the same way you do.”
All boys know that the schoolyard can be a tough place to get by, and Homer clearly knows how to survive, although it may not all be great advice and discourages you from being yourself. This quote comes from the very first season in “Bart the General,” where Bart enlists the help of Grandpa and Herman (the military antique store dealer) to fight back against the schoolyard bullies. After discovering that Bart is being bullied, Marge encourages him to reason with Nelson but Homer disagrees and informs them about “the code of the schoolyard.” Homer also teaches Bart how to fight dirty, but after being beaten up again, Bart decides to reach out to Grandpa who also encourages him to stand up for himself. With the help of Herman, they devise a strategy to bring down the bullies once and for all.
7. “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”
Homer delivers this gem in season five’s “Boy-Scoutz ‘n the Hood,” where Bart accidentally joins the scouts and at first is reluctant to go. Much like all of Homer’s advice and statements, it is not too admirable but also laughably true and something that we have all done at one point or another. On top of this, it also has a classic Homer-ism at the end which ensures it is one of his more memorable pieces of life advice. Bart, much like his father, would turn out to be the master of “weaseling out” of things that he does not want to do, but on this occasion he changes his mind after being issued a pocket knife. This then leads Homer and Bart to spend more time together after an unsuccessful father-son rafting trip is arranged, which sees them become lost at sea.
6. “You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.”
Although you would not have guessed it, Homer certainly has a way with the ladies. Not only does he have a loving wife, but over the course of the series he has also had many admirers too. In this episode, Homer is fumbling his way through a motivational speech after accidentally saving the Power Plant from a meltdown, but he is also doling out love life advice too. This is not the only time he does this, and most notable is when he has a man to man chat with Bart about women where Homer’s love for beer blurs his advice—“A woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!” Perhaps not the greatest life advice, but it all seemed to work out for Homer.
5. “Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
Poor Bart and Lisa do not get the best life advice from Homer, and it is clear that Bart is following closely in his lazy father’s footsteps. He delivers this less than admirable piece of advice to Bart and Lisa in season five’s “Burns’ Heir,” where they both audition to become the heir of Mr. Burns’ enormous fortune. Bart does not take the rejection well, seeing him vandalize Burns’ property. Mr. Burns likes his evilness, and makes him his heir. Homer is clearly not a fan of trying, as he once again demonstrated with his quote that “trying is the first step to failure.” Most parents would encourage their children to dust themselves off and try again, but Homer opts for the easy life by not trying and instead leading a life of leisure.
4. “If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
It is no secret that Homer does not like his job at the Nuclear Power Plant, and this is something that many people around the world will sympathize with. However, instead of attempting to change what he does not like, Homer has a slightly more apathetic approach. In this episode, “The PTA Disbands” from season six, the teachers at Springfield Elementary go on strike to protest Principal Skinner’s poor spending. Whilst Bart revels in his newfound freedom and does whatever he can to prolong the strike, Lisa struggles and becomes obsessed with being graded. It is to her that Homer delivers this gem, which many people in America and all around the world are likely to relate to. After Marge begins to teach Bart, he soon becomes fed up and manages to get Edna Krabappel and Principal Skinner to reconcile.
3. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Initially a great piece of advice which is then contrasted by the end (like a lot of Homer’s advice), this is a classic “do as I say not as I do” piece of parenting. This quote is delivered in season four’s “Kamp Krusty,” where Bart and Lisa are desperate to spend the summer at Krusty the Clown’s summer camp (“The Krustiest Place on Earth”). However, Homer states that Bart can only attend if he averages at least a C on his report card. Bart attains a D- for each subject, which he then changes to As on the bus home. Homer sees through this and tells him he should have faked realistic grades, but he decides to let him go to Kamp Krusty anyway. His reasoning is that he feels Bart should not be punished for his mistakes, plus he didn’t want him in the house all summer anyway.
2. “Stupid risks are what make life worth living.”
Although he perhaps takes a few too many stupid risks, some that a even real life person should certainly not take, there is an element of truth to Homer’s advice. All of the brilliant adventures and memorable events that stem from The Simpsons usually come from one of Homer’s ideas, and there is something to be said for his impulsiveness. They often say that you regret the things that you don’t do, and this appears to be Homer’s philosophy as he is a “yes” man who enjoys living life to the fullest. He dolls out this profound piece of advice to Lisa, who becomes lost after Homer allows her to take the bus by herself to go to a museum. He goes after her and manages to find her, and they then later break into the museum together and Homer accidentally makes a historic discovery.
1. “The three sentences to get you through life: Number 1 ‘Cover for me.’ Number 2 ‘Oh, good idea, boss!’ Number 3 ‘It was like that when I got here.’”
These fantastic tips from Homer are ones that many people will be familiar with, and they all perfectly encapsulate Homer’s approach to life and we see him apply them numerous times over the course of the show. The amazing advice is delivered by Homer to Bart in perhaps the most moving episode that they have ever created – “One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish” from season two. In this episode, Homer is told that he has just 22 hours to live after eating poisonous fugu fish. He makes a list of things he wants to do with his final day, which include having a man-to-man talk with Bart. This includes these three sentences to get you through life and (badly) teaching him how to shave. Bart then uses the third sentence on Homer after breaking his aftershave, to which Homer replies “that’s my boy”.