Microsoft Announces Terrible New Nokia Phone, For Some Reason

As Apple and Samsung continue to battle it out for mobile phone supremacy, Microsoft has apparently decided they also want to keep selling cell phones.

However, if you were expecting another black rectangle a big touchscreen on the front (like every other single phone in existence), think again. The Nokia 216 is not attempting to fool anyone into thinking it’s a smart phone. In fact, it’s quite clearly a dumb phone from the year 2003.

Features? It has features. Not very good ones, but whatever. It features a 2.4-inch QVGA screen, a 0.3 Megapixel camera on the front and back, a physical keyboard, and is only 2.5G. It does have a dual-SIM option and comes in three, count ’em, three different colors.

Apps? Yeah, it’s got Facebook and a lite version of the Opera web browser. Then again, it does have a headphone jack (take that, Apple!), probably won’t explode (take that, Samsung!) and boasts a battery life of 24 days (days!) of standby time. Which of course you will actually use, since this is one phone that you won’t play with all damn day. Since there’s literally nothing to play with.

But hey, if you’re an aspiring criminal, it looks like it would make a great burner phone. So stock up on a few!

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon has been writing about random things online since 2013. His favorite video game is Rocket League, his favorite TV show is The Sopranos, and he hated the last season of Game of Thrones. Follow him @DevonTaylor113.