You Won’t Believe How This Houston Man Plans To Make Same-Sex Marriage Illegal Again

http://parade.com/407662/jerylbrunner/celebrities-tweet-about-the-supreme-courts-ruling-to-legalize-same-sex-marriage/ Via Parade.com

When the United States Supreme Court ruled last year in Obergefell vs. Hodges that same-sex marriage was legal across all fifty states, most sensible people declared that “Love Wins.” Even people who weren’t that interested in the ruling probably shrugged and said “meh, good for them.”

Not Chris Sevier though.

Sevier has filed a lawsuit against an unnamed Harris County district clerk, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry — and we’re not kidding here — his laptop. Apparently he thinks that he is proving a point, completely unaware that he actually just looks like a schmuck.

In case you were wondering, Sevier doesn’t actually have a romantic interest in his computer. He is trying to suggest that marrying an inanimate object is exactly the same thing as marrying a member of the same sex, which of course it isn’t. The key missing component is the matter of “consent”, which a laptop cannot legally give. You know, since it’s a laptop.

Sevier, who somehow is actually a practicing attorney, demands that America rethink their values. And by that, he means that America should have his specific values, with no exceptions.

“The question is, should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle?” Sevier said, according to The Houston Press. “The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.”

We have to define marriage. If only the country had some highest legal authority to have the final say on such a matter. Like some sort of Supreme Cour — oh wait.

Sevier isn’t deterred though. He has already filed his lawsuit in three different states, and plans to file in a dozen more.

“[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history,” Sevier said. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

Someone is definitely delusional.

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon has been writing about random things online since 2013. His favorite video game is Rocket League, his favorite TV show is The Sopranos, and he hated the last season of Game of Thrones. Follow him @DevonTaylor113.