The sun just doesn’t shine quite as brightly any more.

A report released today by the World Health Orgaization (WHO) contains some of the worst news to ever hit the internet. Or breakfast plates, for that matter. It has officially classified bacon and other processed meats like sausage as “carcinogenic to humans.” Off all the different levels of cancer danger a thing can have, “carcinogenic to humans” is the highest risk. You know what else has the same classifications? Cigarettes, arsenic, and asbestos.

But wait! Before you swear off bacon forever, there is some good news too.

For an individual, the risk of developing colorectal (bowel) cancer because of their consumption of processed meat remains small, but this risk increases with the amount of meat consumed. In view of the large number of people who consume processed meat, the global impact on cancer incidence is of public health importance. (Via)

So basically, if you’re not eating a pound of bacon for every meal, you’re probably okay. Like everything we consume as humans, the key is moderation. Smoking a cigar twice a year probably won’t give you lung cancer and the odd Big Mac won’t make you obese. But if you’ve been chowing down on deep-fried bacon sticks, wrapped in bacon and then BBQ’d in bacon grease, you should probably change your habits.

So listen internet, we know you love bacon. We love bacon too. But the average American eats 18 pounds of bacon of year, and that’s a lot. So for the sake of our own health, let’s at least try to get that number back into the single digits.