If you wake up in the morning and grab the newspaper or turn on the TV, you’re bound to come across a bunch of people you either do not care about or strongly question why anyone else would care about them.
Sometimes, the person makes the news because they did something great. Sometimes, a person will make the news because he/she said something they probably shouldn’t have. Or, sometimes, they’re just Donald Trump. However, any way you cut it, the morning news is often filled with the worst people known to humankind.
So to help you figure out whom these people are, we’ve compiled the five worst people in the news today.
5. 50 Cent
As you may have heard, the man behind “In Da Club,” “21 Questions,” and “the entirety of The Game’s career” recently filed for bankruptcy. Now, depending on what you read, he may or may not have actually lost all of his money. Either way, for the dude who once said:
“I’m eatin’, I get money, n***a I s**t money
It smell like Benjamins, it boosts my adrenaline.”
This has to be incredibly embarrassing for him. However, for everyone else, this is absolutely hilarious.
Over the past few weeks, Scott Storch (70 million) and 50 Cent (100 million+) have both filed for bankruptcy.
2002 seems like a very, very long time ago.
4. Donald Trump
Here is what has happened to Donald Trump over the past couple of weeks:
-We found out he’s a massive racist.
-He’s been dumped unceremoniously and very publicly by several affiliated companies, including NBC.
-Speaking of NBC, we found out that they will not be bringing him back to host that show where he fires people before he even hires them.
-He compared China to the New England Patriots and we’re not sure which entity is more angry about the assessment.
-He reportedly paid a bunch of people to cheer for him at this Presidential Announcement Party.
-He was called out by Shakira, who is still crazy hot and not yet 40-years old.
-Despite of all of this, his poll numbers are actually ON THE RISE.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Let’s give a slow clap to the current state of the Republican Party.
3. Ariana Grande
Apparently she licked a doughnut.
Call us if she licks anything else. Or don’t. We don’t care.
2. ESPN Baseball Analysts
If you watched the MLB Home Run Derby, you probably have way too much time on your hands. Being the type of people with way too much time on their hands, we watched the entire thing.
The Home Run Derby is the most basic of competitions and certainly one that does not require constant analysis over the entirety of the three-hour broadcast.
Just don’t tell that to ESPN.
How a guy swings, who the old dude throwing him the ball is, what flavor Gatorade he likes to drink, the best places to eat in Cincinnati, and a thorough analysis of the different field dimensions across all 30 MLB stadiums were the most frequent topics of discussion during the broadcast.
Leave it to ESPN to try and ruin the most Americanesque competition in all of sports.
1. Frank Semyon aka Vince Vaughn’s Character On True Detective
Erectile difficulties? Check.
Irrationally desperate? Check.
Inability to get his wife pregnant? Check.
Dental hubris? Check.
Ugly garden? Check.
Main character on an underwhelming TV series? Check.
This dude leaves Owen Wilson for a month and he’s already got more problems than 2004 Jay-Z. Hopefully things turn around for Vinnie. But if they don’t, at least we’ll always have Swingers.