Canadian Man With Greatest Name Ever Stabbed By His Own Brother Over A Slice Of Pizza

We couldn’t make up a crazier story if we tried.

A 34-year old man from Guelph, Ontario, Canada has plead guilty to aggravated assault and breach of probation after stabbing his younger brother Elvis Hercules (ELVIS HERCULES!!) several times during an argument over a slice of pizza.

Older brother Christian B. Hercules (another awesome name, but not as good as Elvis) said he felt disrespected after a simple dispute lead to name calling and escalated into a violent confrontation. The victim was rushed to a nearby hospital and was listed as being in critical but stable condition. Elvis suffered a collapsed lung and four stab wounds in the back.

“He is hopeful he will make a full recovery,” the prosecutor said during the initial court hearing.

On June 25, Justice Elliott Allen sentenced the older Hercules to 18 months in jail for aggravated assault, after deciding against a longer sentence of at least two years that would have meant a prison term.

“This could easily have been a homicide,” Allen said, according to The Guelph Mercury. “This is an extremely serious crime.”

The defense attorney said that Christian has suffered from a difficult upbringing and various mental health issues, including depression and schizophrenia.

Elvis has embodied a stereotypical Canadian attitude and said he doesn’t harbor any ill feelings towards his older brother.

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon Taylor (@DevonTaylor113)

Devon has been writing about random things online since 2013. His favorite video game is Rocket League, his favorite TV show is The Sopranos, and he hated the last season of Game of Thrones. Follow him @DevonTaylor113.