In case you’ve spent the last year on Mars, with your eyes shut and your fingers jammed in your ears, welcome to 2016: the year that’s seen a man who acts like a clown run for president and a bunch of literal clowns terrorize the heartland of America.
Clown sightings have been going up dramatically in recent months, with these monstrosities spotted in states such as Wisconsin, Kentucky, South Carolina, Arizona, Ohio, and New Jersey. While each of these sightings is being dealt with on a case-by-case basis by local authorities, many have joked that this would be the perfect time for Batman to swoop in and save us all from these real life Jokers.
Well, our Dark Knight has arrived …in the United Kingdom, at least.
Proving that the clown epidemic is not exclusive to the United States, BBC Cumbria is reporting that a man dressed up as Batman was spotted patrolling the streets of Whitehaven, spurred on after hearing “that many children had been left traumatized by the clowns lurking around the town.”
“It appears a superhero has swooped in, determined to help youngsters sleep easy tonight. Cumbria Superheroes, a costume company, has sent ‘Batman’ out and about on the town’s streets to fight off the evil clowns. The man behind it insists he is not a vigilante, but is hoping to give children some reassurance that they are safe.”
The report doesn’t make it clear what Batman is doing when he catches the clowns, but we’re guessing he must be turning them over to the proper authorities. In related news, London police are taking these clown sightings seriously. Commander Julian Bennett states, “We are currently assessing a small number of reported ‘Killer Clown’ incidents in London, three of which meet the threshold of a criminal offense. Our primary responsibility is identifying and investigating those incidents where a criminal offense has occurred. However, anti-social behavior can leave people feeling scared, anxious, and intimidated and I would urge those who are causing fear and alarm to carefully consider the impact their actions have on others.”
We’re going to need a lot more Batmen if we’re going to win this fight against these crusty clowns.